Come On Get Happy!

I had a pretty serious epiphany one day last week.


Last Friday, at around 4 PM, I found myself sitting on the couch watching Oprah and gorging on yummy, unhealthy snacks. I realize that the aforementioned scenario, to most of my readers, probably sounds like a relaxing day off from participating in their grueling, hard-working lives. But, alas, to me it has become quite the normal, everday monotony of existence. Thus is the life of searching endlessly for a job post-college and having business slow down at your work-place.

As I was sitting on the couch, and as Oprah had spoken her final farewells, I thought to myself: "wow! when I have a job....I really won't be bored like this!" The thought cheered me up for a milisecond, then disappeared like a high-flying balloon into the air. It was at this very moment, that I began recollecting all my "if onlys" and "when that happens," and was very disappointed in the results.



When I was in high school, I thought the key to my happiness lied in going to college. When in College, I dreamed of moving and finding my independence. And when I had finally moved to Orlando, nothing sounded like it would complete me more than College graduation. So here I find myself: a high-school passee, Orlando resident, Bachelors recipient....still waiting for that "next thing" (which in this case is a job).

High School....CHECK!

Move...CHECK

GRADUATE COLLEGE...CHECK

WHICH LEAVES THE INEVITABLE QUESTION: NOW WHAT??!!

Being a "next goal" person isnt all bad. In fact, I"m pretty sure the good parts are what trap people into the mentality. Having my eye on the current prize has always helped me keep ambitious and sharp. It's what has helped me win awards at my professional positions, and maitain good grades in difficult classes. I enjoy the challenge of completing a difficult task-at-hand......if only to quickly move onto the next. But the bad side of the thing is that you truly RISK missing out on the awesome scenery between goals A and B--and sometimes that isnt worth it.

I spoke with someone on the phone the other day that made me realize the long-term affects of over-zealous "next thing" attitude. The conversation was painful, and upsetting---but it also made me come to terms with who I want to be. What I realized is: I DONT want to hurt the feelings of people who are closest to me only to get what I want, I DONT want to miss out on what's happening right now, and I certainly DONT want to "next thing" my life away.

On New Years Eve I made a resolution to slow down and really enjoy the small things in life that may only happen once--like having the time to grill outside in the fall air with my boyfriend. Yet, this particular phone conversation made me more determined than ever to follow through with enjoying MY life...no matter what "goal" I have left to finish.

This is my song today

THIS IS MY SONG TODAY

Ho Hum Ho Hum...the Boredom Life For Me

So this week, instead of doing a post that's all insight(y) and poignant, I decided to go in a whole nother' direction and tell my readers about what is going on in my life. Think news channel bulletins but without the over hair-sprayed anchors and the awkward weather broadcasts.

FIRST AND FOREMOST.......I HAVE INTERNET!!!! That's right...you heard me...I....HAVE....INTERNET!! After a month of going without, my boyfriend and I finally conceeded and ordered an internet package from the service "Clear." The bill is pretty low, the service is efficient, and most importantly.....I can reclaim socializing with my interwebs peoples and interview for jobs once more!!! I had really gotten exceptionally tired of drudging my little cold butt down to our apartment office only to be even more frozen in that ice-box they call a computer center. HARUMPH!! Not to mention, some of the folks that shared the small, public computer space with me were sometimes rather...er...distracting. I almost gave Mr. Fed-Ex Delivery dude a huge peck on the cheek for delivering me sweet FREEDOM in the form of a USB : )
(I was almost as excited, upon opening my internet package, as the kid seen below. I repeat....ALMOST)


SECONDLY............my body is completley and totally defying me these days. I mean seriously! Its as if God accidentally gave me the head of a 23 year old and the body of an EIGHTY-THREE year old. They say the almighty one dosn't make mistakes.....so I'm thinking he's more of a practical jokes man. It's gotten to the point where, when incurring a minor ache, I immediatley want to warn my friends of impending dooms-day weather. THAT bad! I'm seriously not complaining here. On the contrary, its sometimes hilarious to just dictate how horrid my body luck actually is.

The first case in point to defend the aformentioned argument is that my hair....is going pretty grey. They say a woman's hair is her crown, but if that's so...my crown is pretty friggin rusted. I'm guessing my new hair-dont has something to do with my completley INSANE stress levels seeing as I've been greying since the tender age of 18. In only one, eensie years time, I'm going to have to start dying my "crown" frequently. Hellooooo salon costs! Luckily, I'm already on a first name basis with my stylist, Cheryl, at Hair Cuttery and she hooks me up everytime. If only the toll collectors here in Orlando were as friendly as my local cosmetologist...I could save myself the big bucks ; )

Also, I get these odd and mysterious illnesses that WILL NOT die! I don't know why my body betrays me so, but alas its true. First, last month, there was the annoying and ridiculous throaty cough which tickled the back of my throat CONSISTENTLY when speaking. Then, later on, I attained terrible heart pains. And lastly, operating as the cherry on my bacteria-covered sunday, this past month I've been having stomach issues.

Third of all, the job search is going. I would not say its going great....or that its going bad....its mostly just going. So far, I've had four interview offers....all of which are slightly off-base for me in some strange reason, i.e. commissions based jobs or weekend hours (eliminating ever visiting my family...in Tallahassee). I basically keep sending out resumes online, and physically. It gets tiring....but I know there are lots of people who have things FAR......FAR worse for them than I do, and I definitley count my blessings at having such a supportive family and boyfriend to help me when the chips are down.

Lastly, my anniversary with Jono is on Saturday. I can't believe we've already hit the four year mark. I am very proud ,regarding how far we have come ,within both ourselves, and our relationship over the past, few years.

Oh yeah..and I've also decided to do this thing wherein I share a song that I'm digging during the week on my blogsite. This week it's Keri Hilson "Pretty Girl Rock" Say what you want...but I'm exhausted about hearing negative messages regarding being a woman.


So that's it......expect plenty more blogs from me now that I have the interwebs again : )