Sunday, January 30, 2011

Come On Get Happy!


I had a pretty serious epiphany one day last week.

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Last Friday, at around 4 PM, I found myself sitting on the couch watching Oprah and gorging on yummy, unhealthy snacks. I realize that the aforementioned scenario, to most of my readers, probably sounds like a relaxing day off from participating in their grueling, hard-working lives. But, alas, to me it has become quite the normal, everday monotony of existence. Thus is the life of searching endlessly for a job post-college and having business slow down at your work-place.

As I was sitting on the couch, and as Oprah had spoken her final farewells, I thought to myself: "wow! when I have a job....I really won't be bored like this!" The thought cheered me up for a milisecond, then disappeared like a high-flying balloon into the air. It was at this very moment, that I began recollecting all my "if onlys" and "when that happens," and was very disappointed in the results.

Oprah Crying GIF 7

When I was in high school, I thought the key to my happiness lied in going to college. When in College, I dreamed of moving and finding my independence. And when I had finally moved to Orlando, nothing sounded like it would complete me more than College graduation. So here I find myself: a high-school passee, Orlando resident, Bachelors recipient....still waiting for that "next thing" (which in this case is a job).




High School....CHECK!

Move...CHECK

GRADUATE COLLEGE...CHECK
WHICH LEAVES THE INEVITABLE QUESTION: NOW WHAT??!!

Being a "next goal" person isnt all bad. In fact, I"m pretty sure the good parts are what trap people into the mentality. Having my eye on the current prize has always helped me keep ambitious and sharp. It's what has helped me win awards at my professional positions, and maitain good grades in difficult classes. I enjoy the challenge of completing a difficult task-at-hand......if only to quickly move onto the next. But the bad side of the thing is that you truly RISK missing out on the awesome scenery between goals A and B--and sometimes that isnt worth it.

I spoke with someone on the phone the other day that made me realize the long-term affects of over-zealous "next thing" attitude. The conversation was painful, and upsetting---but it also made me come to terms with who I want to be. What I realized is: I DONT want to hurt the feelings of people who are closest to me only to get what I want, I DONT want to miss out on what's happening right now, and I certainly DONT want to "next thing" my life away.

On New Years Eve I made a resolution to slow down and really enjoy the small things in life that may only happen once--like having the time to grill outside in the fall air with my boyfriend. Yet, this particular phone conversation made me more determined than ever to follow through with enjoying MY life...no matter what "goal" I have left to finish.

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This is my song today


THIS IS MY SONG TODAY

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